On January 5, 2014, I had no idea where I would be in a year; the world was full of question marks, and I still had a full and final semester of college left. In March, I committed to moving to Kenya and living out a year of service. In May, I graduated and closed a challenging, happy, and friend-filled chapter of my life. From June to early August, I met inspiring high school students and forged deep friendships with amazing co-workers. And then in late August, I said goodbye to almost everything I knew and loved and hopped a one-way ticket to where I am today. So in may respects it was a big year. But in others it was just life with a couple book-ends. Here are a few things I took away from 2014:
1. Live with your decisions. This year, particularly the post-college bit, taught me the power of making and owning my decisions. I've been deeply grateful for the guidance of friends, family, and advisers, but I've also had to learn how to listen to my gut. As this whole adulthood thing is still shiny and new, I'm learning to accept the consequences of my decisions and most importantly to discern what I can learn from each experience. I've found pride in being responsible for my decisions, their outcomes, and my growth from them.
2. Be where you are. I've spent a lot of time in the last few years missing people and places. I greet homesickness like an old friend and know too well how to ride the waves of the anywhere-but-here syndrome. But 2014 taught me that I'll always be a composite of the people and places I've loved and that I can only offer 100% of myself to one place at a time. In order to give 100% of what I have, to learn everything I can from an experience and to appreciate the world for what it offers, I have to be fully and wholly present. If the universe has put me 'here' then I might as well be here.
3. Be kind to yourself. Balance was not a quality I was particularly keen on developing growing up; though I have no regrets, I spent a lot of time and energy perfecting academic and co-curricular performances. I'll never apologize for wanting to be Hermione Granger, but I'm beginning to value balance and to accept my limitations. Being kind to myself requires knowing how to listen to my self, something I did not have much consideration for in the past 17 years. It's a big world and I have to be my #1 supporter, friend, and advocate, right?
4. "Why not?" is a better question than "why?" Thanks to a best friend's mom, I read Lean In earlier this year and did a lot of talking about female confidence with my empowered lady friends. What I have decided is that all of the self-doubting and society-exacerbated negativity that sometimes hold me back can be highlighted by asking myself, "why not?" And when I answer myself, I hear how BS most of the answers sound and how much I don't believe them. And if I do have a good answer for "why not" then I've found I can confidently move on to the next opportunity.
5. A really good cup of tea fixes most any problem. I have known and adamantly touted this for years, but the highs and lows that rocked through 2014 only proved this to be more true. Tea can complement the bliss of solitude or bring people together.
At 23, I am living my life for me. I'm unattached and responsible for no one's well-being but my own. My choices are by definition selfish, which does make me squeamish, but I also think it's important for me to make the most of what the world and life are offering me right now. Every day I'm learning more about myself and working on my weaknesses and championing my strengths. I've been blessed to know some truly good people in 2014 and to deepen old relationships. I'm looking forward to what this new year has to offer.
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