So goes the Princeton in Africa motto; it's what initially drew me to apply for the fellowship almost 365 days ago. I grew up through thirteen years of Catholic school-- my high school motto was "enter to learn, leave to serve"-- and I was drawn to service opportunities throughout college. It felt natural that I would choose to do a year of service following my completion of formal education. You'd think I'd had a comprehensive understanding of what 'service' means after all that schooling and experience, but you'd be mistaken. Surprised? I was, and am, too.
I've spent the better part of the last three weeks working at a 8-5 office job on a laptop blundering my way through Excel sheets and grant reports. It's been a constant learning-on-the-job experience, sometimes frustratingly and sometimes gratifyingly. Not that IRC didn't orient me of course; they did so quite intensely. But how the humanitarian field functions was something I held in such a snow-globe-utopian understanding, and I'm quickly finding that the cheap, plastic exterior has shattered to reveal a complicated world of competition, tight deadlines, high expectations, and constant communication. As one of two programs and grants fellows, I am responsible for reviewing grant reports from the field and sending them to the donors that sponsor the various projects IRC runs. Currently, I work on the northeastern region of Kenya, which has seen a large influx of South Sudanese refugees in the past few months. In the last three weeks, I've come to know in intimate detail the number of beneficiaries per program, the amount being spent on certain activities, the challenges each site faces, and the issues that are most pressing for some of Kenya's most remote communities. What I haven't come to know are the people that are behind the statistics and the reports: what makes them laugh, what makes them tense up, how the interact with each other, why and how they got to where they are, their hopes and anxieties about the future. Even my relationship to the IRC field staff, with whom I communicate regularly, is confined to email and Skype. Am I a 'people person'? Whatever makes you ask that??
While my gut reaction going into the humanitarian field was one that wanted to know people and their stories-- and felt that would inform how I could best support efforts-- I'm finding that I'm here to do a different job. Which brings me back to service. What I've found in my short time as a PiAf fellow with the International Rescue Committee is that the numbers do matter. They make a difference in accountability, in what projects get more funding or targeted support, in expressing the often desperate and always complicated circumstances at hand in clear terms to those who have the ability to support. The better the reporting, the stronger the relationship with the donor and the more authentically reality can be represented to those who are not living it. With that in mind, I've revisited my definition of service and am working at expanding my perspective on what it means to use my strengths, gifts, and experiences for a cause. Even if it's one that I still have not experienced with my own mind and heart.